The First Miracle in My Life
It was a beautiful afternoon. I went home from work and I needed another hard work. After I had my lunch, it was a bowl of hot meatball, I visited an annual local exhibition in the down town. There, it was so crowded. Many people of the town walked around the stands like books, food, hand-made souvenirs, traditional clothes, furniture, automotif , decorative plants and many other things. As usual, I was always interested in books. I went to the book stands which were offered the cheap prices but had good qualities. "Parenting", "How to Take Care of your Baby", "Golden Age", "Mother and Kids," were interesting books for me at the time. I decided not to buy even just one. I already had such books during my pregnancy.
Sweats glowed all around my forehead and neck but I kept walking. Something moved slowly but strongly in my belly but I kept moving around. Plants. Green, red, yellow, white, pink were caugth by sight. I was eager to move close and reach the beauty of plants.They were natural, as natural as my look. Big stomach, cheeks, and all parts of my body were nothing left in beauty. Some people considered me attractive and nice in this figure anyhow.
Two rose plants, a jasmine plant and a pane tree. They would grow nicely in my little front garden! After about 7 kilometers I walked around the exhibition area, with four vaces of plant, I was back to my home. A simple rent home.
Getting home, a friend of mine dropped on. He brought a half sack of fresh sweet corns! "I have just harvested corns from my fields. Those are sweet, you should cook them." Here I was, after the dusk prayer, I made several kinds of food from the corns. I was at the kitchen, enjoying the evening till before midnight by cooking. There was a kind of powerful spirit within me to force my energy doing a lot of things, while I was an eight months pregnant woman.
At about midnight, after I sent some boiled corns to my neighbour nearby, I went to sleep. It would be a very lovely sleep after my busy activities. However it was not. I couldn't sleep or even just close my eyes for a second. My body still needed another spirit of mine to do things that I should move. Considering I had to work the next day I lied down on the bed and tried to sleep. Still I was awake. Looking at the ceiling, I was wondering. Why I didn't feel tired. Why everything seemed absurd. Why I felt lonely in a marriage and in a new pregnancy. A man was sleeping in another bedroom soundlessly. A voice came out from my mouth, "Hans, could you fan me, I couldn't sleep cos it is very hot here."
There was no reply. The night covering my rent home went darker and darker. The wind blowing through the open door touched slightly on my glowing body. Still I was uncomfortable. Then I felt something ill inside my belly. It didn't feel strong but I could feel the illness. "Hans, could you please come here. My stomache is sick."
Again, no answer. For several last hours before the dawn came, I grimaced in pain till tiredness put me down on the valley of sleep.
The bright morning woke me up. Straightly I went to have a shower and then did a morning prayer. During I did it, I unintentionally and continously urinated. I didn't know why. Then I repeated my morning prayer after I took ablution for the second times. I was suspicius with the unusual condition. I asked the man I was married with to take me to the nurse not far from the house.
The friendly woman's eyes looked at me. She looked thinking of me but and wanted to tell me an important thing but she just asked,"Do you not feel sick or something?" I shoke my head. "Unbelieveable, Ms. Em. You are about to give birth and you haven't got illness of giving births. It has been opened for 3 cm," told the nurse. I didn't believe in what she said. I questioned my self at heart, "Am I going to give birth? Am I going to see my baby, a creature in my belly for months that came along with me everywhere and went trhough joy and sorrow in bad and good times? People say the process of giving birth was very ill, why did I feel nothing?
The nurse smiled nicely and tried to calm me down but I knew from her face she looked worried. She said, "You should go to hospital soon, but be relaxed. Take a chance to eat and drink milk before you went to the hospital."
At about 8 a clock I got to the hospital and every one there looked very busy to help me. Then the hard times came. The illness that I was afraid of coming. I couldn't handle my self from crying aloud and screaming. I thought I would die or it was better for me to die than feeling so miserable like this. About a half and an hour I fought against great sickness. Two obstetricians, a cardiologist and an anesthecia doctor came to my room. They talked each other and I didn't care what they talked about. I kept crying and calling God names. Several minutes later, people in the room; the doctors and the nurses said a loud," Thank God!"
I felt so weak, lying down where I faced the battle of moving out a baby from my belly, a peaceful warm world which was only two or three centimeters from the wild world but women had to struggle with their soul, life and blood, whether death or life of their own and the baby as the consequency, I trapped in silence and unbelievable moments. Did I make it? What had happened to me and the baby, where was it? I heard no cry of it?
A nurse came out from another room. She held a little thing in her arm and showed me. "A beautiful baby girl, just like her mom."
Sweats glowed all around my forehead and neck but I kept walking. Something moved slowly but strongly in my belly but I kept moving around. Plants. Green, red, yellow, white, pink were caugth by sight. I was eager to move close and reach the beauty of plants.They were natural, as natural as my look. Big stomach, cheeks, and all parts of my body were nothing left in beauty. Some people considered me attractive and nice in this figure anyhow.
Two rose plants, a jasmine plant and a pane tree. They would grow nicely in my little front garden! After about 7 kilometers I walked around the exhibition area, with four vaces of plant, I was back to my home. A simple rent home.
Getting home, a friend of mine dropped on. He brought a half sack of fresh sweet corns! "I have just harvested corns from my fields. Those are sweet, you should cook them." Here I was, after the dusk prayer, I made several kinds of food from the corns. I was at the kitchen, enjoying the evening till before midnight by cooking. There was a kind of powerful spirit within me to force my energy doing a lot of things, while I was an eight months pregnant woman.
At about midnight, after I sent some boiled corns to my neighbour nearby, I went to sleep. It would be a very lovely sleep after my busy activities. However it was not. I couldn't sleep or even just close my eyes for a second. My body still needed another spirit of mine to do things that I should move. Considering I had to work the next day I lied down on the bed and tried to sleep. Still I was awake. Looking at the ceiling, I was wondering. Why I didn't feel tired. Why everything seemed absurd. Why I felt lonely in a marriage and in a new pregnancy. A man was sleeping in another bedroom soundlessly. A voice came out from my mouth, "Hans, could you fan me, I couldn't sleep cos it is very hot here."
There was no reply. The night covering my rent home went darker and darker. The wind blowing through the open door touched slightly on my glowing body. Still I was uncomfortable. Then I felt something ill inside my belly. It didn't feel strong but I could feel the illness. "Hans, could you please come here. My stomache is sick."
Again, no answer. For several last hours before the dawn came, I grimaced in pain till tiredness put me down on the valley of sleep.
The bright morning woke me up. Straightly I went to have a shower and then did a morning prayer. During I did it, I unintentionally and continously urinated. I didn't know why. Then I repeated my morning prayer after I took ablution for the second times. I was suspicius with the unusual condition. I asked the man I was married with to take me to the nurse not far from the house.
The friendly woman's eyes looked at me. She looked thinking of me but and wanted to tell me an important thing but she just asked,"Do you not feel sick or something?" I shoke my head. "Unbelieveable, Ms. Em. You are about to give birth and you haven't got illness of giving births. It has been opened for 3 cm," told the nurse. I didn't believe in what she said. I questioned my self at heart, "Am I going to give birth? Am I going to see my baby, a creature in my belly for months that came along with me everywhere and went trhough joy and sorrow in bad and good times? People say the process of giving birth was very ill, why did I feel nothing?
The nurse smiled nicely and tried to calm me down but I knew from her face she looked worried. She said, "You should go to hospital soon, but be relaxed. Take a chance to eat and drink milk before you went to the hospital."
At about 8 a clock I got to the hospital and every one there looked very busy to help me. Then the hard times came. The illness that I was afraid of coming. I couldn't handle my self from crying aloud and screaming. I thought I would die or it was better for me to die than feeling so miserable like this. About a half and an hour I fought against great sickness. Two obstetricians, a cardiologist and an anesthecia doctor came to my room. They talked each other and I didn't care what they talked about. I kept crying and calling God names. Several minutes later, people in the room; the doctors and the nurses said a loud," Thank God!"
I felt so weak, lying down where I faced the battle of moving out a baby from my belly, a peaceful warm world which was only two or three centimeters from the wild world but women had to struggle with their soul, life and blood, whether death or life of their own and the baby as the consequency, I trapped in silence and unbelievable moments. Did I make it? What had happened to me and the baby, where was it? I heard no cry of it?
A nurse came out from another room. She held a little thing in her arm and showed me. "A beautiful baby girl, just like her mom."
